We Are The Machine

Today was the first day I heard the term "Semantic Web" even though people have been talking about it - as far as I can tell - shortly after the creation and implementation of the Extensible Markup Language (XML) in web development (officially recommended by the World Wide Web Consortium, or W3C, in 1998). Semantic Web, often referred to as Web 3.0, is driven by metadata, simply defined as "data about data." If you're having trouble understanding, I found a simplified explanation on YouTube.

The most interesting thing about Semantic Web, for me, is that language is at the heart of it. Definitions and organizations of words will ultimately determine how efficiently the internet works for everyone based on their respective searches. It's not that words aren't at the heart of search engines already, but there is a logic being built in metadata that will allow more specific returns (reactions) to queries. Each of us will contribute to a global meta-consciousness through our actions on the Semantic Web. In short, we are collectively paving the way for artificial intelligence: programs with the wealth of the world's prepackaged data at their disposal.

Index This

For a YouTube channel whose most popular - and largely humorless - series of videos is called Make a Hot Girl Laugh, the satire in Google Threatens To Kill Users is surprisingly well-written. Like we needed any more proof that the phrase "XXX,000,000 (insert here) Fans Can't Be Wrong" is complete f***ing bull****.

Google, where's my gTeleport already?

Centurion

Neil Marshall returns with his version of the Ninth Legion massacre, starring Michael Fassbender (Inglourious Basterds), Dominic West (The Wire), and Olga Kurylenko (Quantum of Solace). The film is set to debut in the UK on April 23, and it'll hopefully hit American theaters by summertime. Also, fans of Marshall's The Descent should be able to find The Descent: Part 2 (which Marshall produced but did not direct) on DVD by the end of April.

Codehunters

Codehunters looks like the Gorillaz got crossed with Final Fantasy VII characters and shat out into Borderlands.

Cheese-A-Thon

Some make you cringe, some make you laugh, some get repeated constantly, and others have turned into memes (speaking of which... where's "You're the man now, dog."?). There are a few inclusions that I don't find cheesy enough and a few that just aren't cheesy at all, especially in context. But with those caveats aside, this is a pretty accurate and pretty fun list. I was glad to see that special attention was paid to the Governator, Keanu, Batman & Robin, The Wicker Man, and the Star Wars prequels. Personally, I would have loved to see "Holey rusted metal, Batman!" And there has to be something from a Star Trek movie worth including. Come on, there's eleven of them; throw a rock.

A list of the films is in the info box on YouTube, but maybe you want to see how many you can name first. Oh, and please please please pleeeease check out The Other 100 Best Movie Quotes of All Time.

The Life Arachnid

I think Wes Anderson's penchant for ensemble casting would make him go whole hog for the entire Avengers team. Personally, though, I think he'd have more fun with Runaways.

While I'm dreaming, Quentin Tarantino will reboot X-Men, J.J. Abrams will reclaim Star Wars, Joss Whedon will do Y: The Last Man justice, Guillermo del Toro will bring The Walking Dead to life, Peter Jackson will dazzle us with Fables, Zack Snyder will use his 300 magic on Northlanders, Paul Greengrass will unleash DMZ, Martin Scorsese will find the darkest parts of Scalped, and Christopher Nolan will take the WildStorm universe seriously enough to create a trilogy featuring characters from Team 7, Stormwatch, and The Authority.

Did I miss anybody?

Homeless Creep

That guy played these songs on this show. And the Flying Spaghetti Monster saw that it was good.

"If there’s any homeless person who deserves a moment in the spotlight, a huge royalty check, or even just a warm place to sleep, it’s Mustard, the homeless guy who came onto Opie and Anthony’s Sirius XM radio show to blow the minds of everyone in the building with a unique and extremely soulful rendition of Radiohead’s Creep." ~ BiH

How To Report The News

Just two weeks ago I was singing the praises of Dead Set, the British zombie mini-series. Turns out that Charlie Brooker, the brilliant writer of the show, is also responsible for this scathing skewering of news reporting convention. One might say he's got them 'dead to rights'.

"And this is a lighthouse keeper being beheaded by a laser beam..."